X-Treme Plot Device
by BerryQueen
Summary: What if X-Treme X-Men ripped straight off of the plot to Buffy the Vampire Slayer?


God, I'm strange ;)  Yeah so, woohoo, new fic.  This is basically a "X-Treme X-Men ripping off the plot of Buffy."  Pretty much Season 5 Buffy… remember Glory, Dawn and the wacky fun of that storyline?  Like I said… I was in a weird mood when I wrote this ;)  Natch, I don't own X-Men or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Please r&r because you love me (c'mon at least indulge my disillusion;)) 

**X-TREME PLOT DEVICE**

Thunderbird 26: Holy mother of Kali!!

Storm: Goddess, what is it?

Thunderbird 26: I think I've figured out the answer to Destiny's diaries.

Bishop: I'm a cop.

Thunderbird 26: Shut up.  Okay, look.  We know there's a tower reaching towards the sky along with that picture of Gambit right?  And we saw Storm fighting Vargas with those lines about "_reaching for the stars_" mmm hmm?  So, any fool can see, the events go together!  Vargas is going to destroy sanity as we know it!

Rogue: Wait, what was that sugah?

Thunderbird 26: Gambit's the **KEY!**

**meanwhile**

Vargas: *jumping out from a plot hole* Gambit!

Gambit: What are you doing here in my home,  homme?

Vargas: You're coming with me bub!

Gambit: *snicker* What is dis? "_Stick a Wolverine plug anywhere we can_" kinda comic book?  I mean Rogue with claws was bad enough...

Vargas: Gotta pull in the fan boys where we can.  

Gambit: I t'ought Claremont wrote this, not Casey.

**back to those wacky ex-X-Men**

Rogue: Remy's the key...?

Thunderbird 26: Yes, it's within him, he just doesn't know it.  He can charge things right if we dumb down his powers.  If he were to charge those diamonds, it'll be a super charge that will power the tower.  It'll be too much for him once he starts so the only way to stop the end of sanity would be to kill him at that point.

Storm: We are not going to kill him!  I will kill all of you if you touch him!

Rogue: Hey, he's **mah** boyfrie-

Storm: I am his sister, he is made out of me.

Tessa: That doesn't compute logically...

**later on at the tower**

Gambit *tied to the top of a **very** tall tower on a platform*: Mon duei, dis sucks.

Vargas: But just think, you're going to help me undo everything and create chaos like the world has never known.

Gambit: Well **dats** a relief. *sarcasm rains off of him and falls hundreds of feet down below* 

Vargas: Once I perform the ritual, I'll cut you and you're blood will leak onto the diamonds waaaaaay down there.  Once I've begun, there's no hope for you.

Gambit: Explain to me again mon ami, why I'm up here instead of, you know, **next** to the diamonds.  What if it's windy in a few hours and my blood splatters yards off.  Den, you're out a key cause there's only one of me.

Vargas: Anybody want a peanut?

Gambit: Non!  No more Princess Bride lines!  Saints, take me now!!

**hours later**

Storm: There, the tower stands!

Tessa: Wow, how come we never noticed the very tall building in our own town?  It must have taken months to build.

Rogue: Ah guess we don't pay enough attention as we think we do.

Bishop: I'm a detective.

Thunderbird 26: Okay, lets go stop Vargas before we all go crazy from the breaking down of the walls between the worlds.

Storm: And do not any of you touch Gambit!!

Rogue: Now what just a minute sug- *looks around to see them all gone from her POV* Guys?

Storm: You will never have him Vargas!

Vargas: Oh I beg to differ.  I'm a god foolish mortal.

Storm: I am a goddess, what is your point?

Vargas: How do you think your ego will defeat me?

Storm: *whips out Thor's hammer* I have the hammer of a god, bitch!

*fighting goes on.  Storm & Vargas each get good shots in, but Storm just has bigger hair so naturally she was fated to win. She keeps beating Vargas down*

Storm: I would kill you, but it is below me.  Ta-ta *flies off*

*Vargas morphs into Trish Tilby*

Trish: Owwwww!!!

Bishop: Hello.

Trish: Owwwww!!!

Bishop: I know the only way to kill Vargas is to kill you Trish because you're two minds & two bodies that are of one soul.  

Trish: Owwwww!!!

Bishop: Sorry Trish.  Storm may be a goddess unable to kill someone, but I'm a bad ass mother fucker with a big gun.  You understand right?

**back to Gambit**

Gambit: 33 bottles of brandy on de wall, 33 bottles of brandy...

Rogue: *lands in front of Gambit* Remy!

Gambit: 'bout time chere, I was starting to talk in third person *shudder*

Rogue: *pulls out a knife* Ah'm sorry, but Ah'm spazzing out on Shadown King's thoughts raht now.  He wants ya to bleed so he'll be free when the space between the worlds break away. *stabs Gambit*

Gambit: Ouch!  Dat's it, we're breaking up for good.

Storm: Rogue, what did I tell you?!?  *flings Rogue over the edge*

Gambit: Hey Stormy.

Storm: Goddess, she cut you.  It is all over now, sanity as we know it will end.

Gambit: Unless I die.

Storm: No Remy.  You are my brother, you are made out of me.  Everything I am is you.  We are one.  When the Claremont made you, you were a plot device made for me only, basically out of me.  We are the same my friend.

Gambit: So you're sayin' you'll close de portal by jumping off de ledge yourself there by killing yourself for the sake of me?

Storm: Yes, I could.

Gambit: Awww Stormy, you really are my best friend.

Storm: The key word being "**could**".  Claremont writes X-Treme, you think he'd kill me off? *Storm breaks into hysterical laughter*

Gambit: I really shouldn't have gotten out of bed dis morning...


End file.
